17 February 2012

Ins and Outs, Ups and Downs

This being unwell business is getting me down. It is lingering. Far beyond the few days I thought I'd be in for when this started last December 20th. It's nearly two damned months now, and there have been so many new manifestations of this unwellness that have hit me in that time. It as been a long two months of ups and downs. Sometimes I'm in, as in invalid enough to not be able to go out. And then I have a few snatched moments of slightly less broken downness when I've been able to get out of the four walls.

This photo is of the day after Oliver's birthday, when I cajoled the men to go walking the half-mile loop of the flat and easy Kingfisher Trail next to the Maumelle River at Pinnacle Mountain State Park.

That was my last out and about day. Since then I've been in because of another mysterious manifestation of my body's joyride with this mysterious unwellness which the doctors still haven't figured out. Whatever this has been, I am mighty tired of it. "You look depressed," noted a young doctor who saw me for the first time at the after-hours clinic a few days ago. Uh.. ya think, Doc? I use Doc lightly.

I guess I've been living under a delusion for the past two months. The delusion that the doctors would figure this out, and this would pass quickly, and my life would get back to normal. No such luck seems to exist in reality. Maybe that reality got stuck in one of the alternate universes.

Sorry, am I, for a less than cheery blog. Maybe I'm not meant to be in this blog space. Maybe my life isn't going to be one of those lives that people enjoy blogging about. Because up until now, this hasn't been much fun at all. I don't really see me keeping this blog going. Not unless luck, and my delusion, catch up to this universe's reality.

Many thanks to those three men in the picture up there. They are, still, my heroes.

Cheers, old blog.